Unreturned phone calls.

Last minute plans cancellations.

Excuses galore.

And then finally, the elusive talk.

“It’s not you, it’s me.” “Let’s be friends.”

If you have ever been on the receiving end of such a series of cryptic messages, all leading up to “the end” then you are intimately familiar with how maddening it can be. Sure after the rollercoaster of confusion (why isn’t he calling me back? what happened to weekly date night?), you uncover that you and he aren’t going the distance, which can be some sense of relief… but the looming question of “why?” is left to torture your poor heart and psyche.

Whereas you can’t do much to ensure that you receive the closure you think you need… some men will just never go balls out honest with you (the primary reason being they fear tears), what you can do is make sure that when you are in the breakup driver’s seat, YOU complete the task… with grace and finality. After all, do unto others, right?

Think about it. The last time you ended a relationship, were you a love litterbug? Did you leave a trail of unanswered questions behind? Were you cryptic in your communication? Or were you brave enough to be honest, knowing that sure the inital hit may sting your now ex, but in the long term will provide peace, and possibly even a growing opportunity?

I’ll be the first to admit that it is easier to walk away leaving most things unsaid but I also know that it doesn’t benefit the greater good of healthy love. Plus, when I haven’t been 100% honest (ex: “it’s not you it’s me” is always just a plain lie), I’ve been wrought with guilt, knowing that I am twisting the thoughts and emotions of someone, who although might not be a good fit for me, is still human… and therefore still deserving truth and respect. The truth that I can offer can free this human, allowing him to fly once again.

So the next time you break a man’s heart, break it all the way… make sure your side of the street is clean. Trust me, you’ll be doing him, yourself and his next girlfriend a big favor.