The 90-day trial period, often known as the honeymoon phase, is marked with dating wonder. These are the days when the sight of his name on caller ID gives you butterflies, lavish nights out or cozy nights in seem equally desirable and you may even catch yourself doodling his name in a heart bubble circa 4th grade. This stage is all hearts, fairies and unicorns and then one day you wake up and it has been THREE months… which for some reason means for many of us, it is time to decide, sink or swim. But before you do, ask yourself these questions to help you decide if Mr. McDreamy has staying power beyond the initial ooey gooey phase or not.
1. How intimately do you know him?
In the beginning phase, you should be spending as much as time as possible getting to know your guy. If conversations haven’t plunged beyond, “Can you pass me my pants, please?” or “I’ll have pepperoni on my half,” your relationship potential is not good. In the initial months is when you are most likely to show interest in one, both physically and emotionally so with this question, evaluate what you have uncovered about your guy.
Score yourself! On a scale of 1-5, 5 being you know his most embarrassing moment; 1 being you don’t even know his middle name, rank how well you know your guy.
2. How much do you have in common?
While opposites certainly can attract, for the long haul you want to find someone with whom you have some similarities – particularly in the values department. So think about if you and your guy are on the same page when it comes to morals and standards, as well as what you like to do for fun, how you de-stress and so on. While you certainly don’t need to strive to date your carbon copy, having some commonalities is key for longevity.
Score yourself! On a scale of 1-5, 5 being that you are two of a kind; 1 being that you are polar opposites, rank how similar you and your guy are.
3. Does your dog like him?
Dogs have better intuition than people and never seem to be wrong about a match made in heaven. So, if you have a dog, pay attention to how your pup vibes around your man.
Score yourself! On a scale of 1-5, 5 being your dog is your man’s BFF; 1 being the scent your man leaves behind sends your dog into a howl-fest, rank how much your dog digs your dude. (If you don’t have a dog, give yourself a free 5 points… unless he is a dog hater and in that case, give yourself zero points)
4. What is in between date time like?
Assuming you don’t spend every waking moment together, what would you say your time in between rendevous’ is like? The way you view your guy and how you interact with him when you are not seeing him can tell a lot about your potential future. … if it will continue to sizzle or fizzle.
Score yourself! On a scale of 1- 5, 5 being you are chomping at the bit to see him again and conversations in between are positive; 1 being you avoid his calls, rank your feelings about your guy during in between date time.
5. Have you met each other’s friends?
Opening the door to your treasure trove of valuable friends is a clear indicator that a someone, is someone is special. Oftentimes inviting a guy into our friendship circle can be a meaningful indicator that we believe there could be potential. Likewise, being invited into a guy’s circle, could mean the same.
Score yourself! Give yourself 0 points for no friend introductions, 2 points for having met a few of each other’s friends (roommates don’t count!) and 5 points for having met a lot of each other’s friends. Give yourself a bonus point if you’ve met each other’s family members (but not if one or both of you live at home).
6. Are you your best self?
Relationships with potential are those that bring out your very best self. So think about who you are in this relationship vs who you are outside of it. Are you rising to your best self in it? Is this relationship helping to make you a better you?
Score yourself! On a scale of 1- 5, 5 being you feel your best; 1 being you feel depleted by it, rank how you feel in this relationship.
Now total your score. Keepers are in the 20-30 range!
