It seems as if every week a new infidelity story hits the media waves, and as widely accepted as cheating has become among celebrities, it remains our biggest fear in common marriages. And for good reason! Threats to marriages are everywhere, but the greatest threat – the one you truly need to worry about it – is at home. By not maintaining a strong marriage, both physically and emotionally, any marriage runs the risk of becoming unfaithful. Whether your relationship’s current status is A+ or it’s faltering, try out this week of activities to keep you and your spouse on a loving, committed track, removing any potential temptations to stray.
Day 1: Rewind and renew. Begin by re-reading your wedding vows. Rewinding back to the beginning will help you zero in on all of the positive qualities about your husband and your relationship, which will in turn force you to concentrate on only the positive aspects. Then, once you are in this warm fuzzy space, together set 1-2 realistic goals that you can work on together. Creating and equally importantly, executing on a goal together will significantly fortify your marriage bond, day in and day out.
Day 2: Start sexting. Stay top of your man’s mind by sending him flirty little messages as well as the occasional sexy picture from time to time. Outreaches like this help keep the fire between you alive as well as build anticipation for a potentially hot evening to come. Just be sure you double-check the number before you hit send!
Day 3: Self-love to the limit… and then some! Investing in yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually is critical when keeping the love and attraction alive between you and your spouse. When you look and feel your best, inside and out, you present the best version of you, which ultimately contributes to the healthiest possible relationship. Work with your spouse to ensure that both of you are taking the time and putting forth the effort to individually invest in yourselves.
Day 4: Develop repair attempts. In John Gottman’s book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he states that successfully married couples enact repair attempts to manage tough situations. Repair attempts are statements or actions – silly or otherwise – that prevent negativity from escalating out of control. For example, my husband starts speaking in an accent when our fights begin to spiral. They are a relationship’s secret weapon because they not only simmer an argument with laughter, but they remind you of the love between you, as opposed to blazing arguments that typically go unresolved and drive the two of you apart.
Day 5: Begin a 30-day sex challenge! Whether your sex life is currently hot or not, commit to naughty time 30-days in a row! And don’t just stick to your standard routines either – use this challenge to, well, challenge yourselves! Consider visits to sex shops for toy purchases, thumbing through kama sutra manuals for new position inspiration, experimentation with lotions and potions, watching porn together and more!
Day 6: Set up weekly check-ins. The primary motive for straying is not having your needs met in some way. The easiest way to avoid this is to ensure a safe space to express those needs. Simply set aside a time each week devoted to checking in with one another to share wants and needs… and pledge to working together to meet them.
Day 7: Vow to keep your commitments committed! Make verbal and written promises to each other that indicate your commitment to each other, emotionally and physically. Vow to respect each other to the highest of heights, to address dissatisfaction to each other, not outside the marriage. And finally, on this last day, congratulate each other on your commitment to commitment by celebrating in a BIG way!
