So you’ve been “seeing” this guy for awhile and your friends are beginning to ask, “What’s the deal between you and so and so?” It is then that it occurs to you that you really don’t know. Are you boyfriend/girlfriend or just hooking up? How can you even tell? It’s simpler than you think. Here are ten giveaways to determine if you and your lover are strictly bed buddies.
The only item of yours at his house is a toothbrush. Boyfriends let girlfriends leave extra panties, a razor, cell phone charger and nonfat milk at the very least as necessary staples for frequent overnight visits, but the common booty call is reduced to just the toothbrush, required for pre-hookup breath freshening.
Sex is a part of EVERY hangout session. If you’ve never NOT had sex with said guy and you’ve hung out more than a dozen times since having sex, either you are a supremely sexually electric couple or it is clear that the foundation of, the formation of and the fuel of this relationship is based on sex… which is code for a hookup relationship, not a boyfriend/girlfriend one.
Every time you “go out”, you never actually go anywhere. Couples have dates outside of the house, or at the very least, outside of the bed. Hookup couples however, never seen the light of the public. They rely on ordering Chinese takeout and bad pay-per-view on occasion, but more often than not, “dates” are merely a quick ice breaking at-home cocktail followed by a wild romp in the sack.
He texts all the time in your presence. Guys who actually like you, want to be present in your presence, which means they can ignore their phones for a few hours when with you. The guy though that is just in it for nookie cares less about your feelings and more about his potentially missed texts, calls, FB messages and BBMs. If you or a guy rolls over after “the deed” is done into the arms of an iPhone, chances are sky-high, that you are just a booty call.
There has been no meeting of the friends. Friend exchanges are at an intimacy level that a hookup relationship cannot bear for the casualty level is too great. Simply, since the hookup relationship has no longevity, a friendship investment is awkward and wasteful. Meaningful relationships can take the risk of friendship exchanges as there are mutual benefits to doing so. No friend intros = no relationship.
He doesn’t give you a gift on holidays. You birthday passed, then Christmas, then Valentine’s Day… and no card, no gifts, no txt acknowledgement. All clear signs that this, hookup, doesn’t want to invest financially or emotionally into this relationship. The upside, you don’t have to reciprocate, which means more cash in your shoe budget.
You only see each other on weekdays, or if on weekends, after last call. Couples balance time spent between weekdays and weekends. Those in a booty call scenario however typically reserve their hookup sessions for weekdays so they can save precious weekend nights for actual meaningful dates, or the potential for a new hookup. When those don’t pan out, come last call, texts go flying out in an attempt for some late night loving.
The most intimate thing you know about him is his middle name. And you only know that because you saw it on his mail. The point here is that for booty call partners the relationship is based on sex, so exchange of personal information is superfluous, versus with couples, getting to know each other is considered foreplay. The less you know, the less likely it is you are in a relationship.
“Plans” are never made in advance. The players in a hookup situation don’t make “plans” ahead of time since their plans are usually to fulfill a sexual need that can’t be planned for and further is sometimes used as a fill-in option. Boyfriend/girlfriends however look forward to plans made well in advance, such as buying tickets for a concert a month out or making reservations for a restaurant days before.
You get thanked after sex. Transactionary like sex most typically marked by immediate post-doing it comments such as, “thank you,” “goodnight,” or “see you next time” are can not only be deflating, but they are clear indicators that your engagement is nothing and will be nothing more than a hookup.
