Men across the country chime in on the hottest dating topics to help you get inside their heads!

Mitchell, 32, from Tulsa, on A MAN AND HIS SPORTS:

“Men love sports. We also love women. But what we love more than either sports or women is the freedom to love both. We don’t want to have to choose. We have room in our lives for you and for sports. Make us choose though and we might choose sports, since after all, sports would never give us ultimatums.”

Terrence, 24, from Houston, on GIRLIE DRINKS: 

“It’s true. Cosmos, daquiris and other sugar drenched drinks taste great. And I suppose a woman relaxing on the beach drinking one out of a coconut has a certain type of cache, BUT in our everyday lives, I am more attracted to a woman who either doesn’t drink, or can hold her own in a man’s drinking world. This means drinks like vodka tonic, a micro brew beer, or dare I say, whiskey on the rocks?! Show me you can handle your alcohol raw and I translate that into you being a woman who will be able to handle me, and the adventurous life I lead.”

Malik, 34, from Trenton, on SECRET PERKS:

“All men want a beautiful, talented, smart, kind woman. But we also want a few extra perks. We want a woman who can cook. Know how to make at least 3 dishes really really well. We want a woman who likes to have sex. You don’t need to like it as much as us but you can’t always rely on us initiating. We want you to want us! And finally, we want a woman who needs us. Not in the can’t-function-on-her-own way, but rather in the “0h baby, can you help me lift this heavy thing” way. Let us be men and that way we can treat you like a lady.”

Ben, 32, from Chicago, on BEING SPOILED:

 ”Women who are spoiled, women who act like the deserve, say, 5 course meals on a first date, are not the women that most men want to date. Personally, I like to work up to spoiling my girl. Not every girl deserves it so you have to show me that you are worth me putting in extra hours at work and extra time planning dates for you. Appreciating the little things will help you get the big things.”

Derek, 29, from Dallas, on ARGUING:

“Argumentative girls drive me insane, and away. I’m all for a little good debating but seriously, know when to be wrong, even a little bit. Arguments when dating should be used as great platforms to get to know each other, not as a path to war. Listen to me. Hear what I have to say. Be open to it. Respect it. And I’ll do the same for you. Argue a bunch instead and you will just give me a headache.” 

Rich, 35 from Portland, on FANTASIES:

“Every person with a healthy sexual appetite has fantasies. Some are downright raunchy whereas others are romantic. Whatever yours are… indulge them! Don’t be shy about your sexy daydreams… speak up! Guys love to know the inner thoughts of their girlfriend’s sexual mind and even more so, LOVE to see them played out. Trust me, no guy will laugh at you or think you are a freak. Instead he will be crazy turned on!”

Jon, 28, from Brooklyn, on MAKING THE FIRST MOVE:

“Should a girl make a first move?! Hell YES! I’d like to think that we all, men and women, think that dating has evolved to a degree where courting isn’t solely the man’s responsibility. Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for wooing, but in fairness, I like to be wooed too! It is a HUGE compliment and boost to he fragile male ego to be hit on, so yes please, bring it! We will love you from the start for being a confident girl!”

Garrett, 33, from Phoenix, on PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION:

“Personally, I dig public displays of affection in the right doses. They make me feel wanted and nothing is better than that. Oh wait, there is something – discreet PDA. I’m talking about the crotch grab under the table at a dinner party kind of discreet PDA. There is NOTHING better, hotter or more wanted than that!”

Chad, 26, from St. Louis, on MAKEUP:

“I’ll admit it. A girl with well done makeup can look a lot hotter than a girl without any at all. It isn’t that the no makeup girl is ugly, it is just that the girl with makeup emits an air of pride in her appearance… which is appealing. HOWEVER, and this is a big however, there is such a thing as too much makeup. If your makeup looks like warpaint, if you don’t look like you, then you have gone too far. The worst feeling ever is waking up next to a girl who has peeled off her face only to uncover she looks like an entirely different person. You feel like you’ve been duped.”

Greg, 31, from Los Angeles, on DECOMPRESSION TIME:

“Maybe it is just me, but I really don’t think so. When my work day is done, I NEED about 30-60 minutes of, as you ladies would call it, “me time.” During this time, I do not want to be bombarded by you, be it by face, by calls or by text. Instead, I want to transition from my intense day at work into a relaxed headspace. Trust me, you will like me a lot better if you give me this time.”

Max, 33, from Boston, on the RULES OF SUMMER DATING:

“Summer is coming and that means a few important things for those of us who are young and ready for fun. First, if you are in a dead-end relationship, end it. Summer is the best time for rebounds, vacation hookups and an overall soul cleansing. Next, get yourself outdoors! No matter where you live, outdoors is where the love is in the summer. Third, participate. This means, stop trying to perfect your tan and pickup a volleyball. Finally, don’t take summer dating seriously. Instead, use it to have fun and learn about yourself. Sure, you might meet someone special, but you are more likely to if you relax about it.”

Adam, 27, from Chicago, on the AWKWARDNESS OF MEETING AN ONLINE DATE IRL:

“Admit it, it is weird meeting up with someone you are virtually attracted to. Especially if you’ve had the nightmare experience before (i.e. she is 10 years more aged than her photo, she forgot to mention she drools, etc). But this is the landscape of dating now, for better or for worse, so we all need to suck up the awkward. The key thing to making an IRL meetup not awkward is the greeting. It is ALL about the greeting. To hug or to handshake? I say hug, always. Handshake proposes that there is no initial attraction, so it is tough to grow from there. However a hug sets the stage as open and possible.”

Matt, 29 Los Angeles, on the MEANING OF VALENTINE’S DAY:

“Here’s my take on Valentine’s Day. It isn’t a you holiday or a me holiday. It is an us holiday. If we are going to celebrate it, it should be about celebrating our love/our relationship. I think the best to do that is to spend the day together, doing something that you both enjoy or creating a new memory together. To me, it is not about lavish gift giving. And no, that doesn’t make me a cheapskate.”

Mick, 34, from Portland on THE WORST SCENT ON A WOMAN:

“No matter how cool you might play it, if you are desperate for attention, love or a boyfriend, a guy can small it. It is like an expired perfume… it reeks! And desperation in my opinion is the worst of all energies. Don’t get me wrong, I understand being in a position of longing – we all get lonely, but there is a difference, a BIG one between desiring and needing. Desiring is sexy, needing is not.”

Jesse, 28, from Chicago on HOW TO GIVE A GUY A GREAT COMPLIMENT:

“You may think that guys are too cool for compliments. We are not. In fact, I personally love a good compliment. What makes a compliment worthwhile is one that is sincere of course, but also specific. Don’t tell me I have a nice tie. Instead tell me that my tie reminds you of something… that is so much more meaningful and definitely more memorable.”

Marc, 32, from New York on WHAT DRIVES HIM CRAZY (AND AWAY) FROM WOMEN:

“I’m a guy. Therefore, by default, I’m simple. I like simple things… including women who communicate simply. Nothing make me more aggravated than a woman who makes things more complicated than they need to be. Life is way too short to convolute everything. Pick your battles and then battle them simply, with a plan. Otherwise I’ll just become really annoyed with your drama.”

DAN, 27, from Houston on FEAR OF COMMITMENT:

“I’ll admit it – I’m afraid of commitment. IN fairness though, I think most men are. At least the ones who care enough to want to do commitment right. Commitment is a big deal. I may not know exactly what “right” looks like right now, but it needs to be with the right partner as well as happen at the right time and place for me. I definitely know though, when it’s wrong.”

CRAIG, 26, from Seattle on HIS NUMBER ONE TURN OFF:

“I can’t stand a pushy woman! Pushy women drive men nuts. Whether they are pushy about calling, showing up on time or anything else, a pushy woman is bound to turn into a nagging wife. Who needs that?! Not me. It’s great to be vocal about your wants and needs but there is a cool, calm and confident way to do it… which is much better than the pushy, controlling, desperate, crazy girl way of getting what you want.”

NICK, 28, from NYC on NEW YEAR’S EVE IMPRESSIONS:

“First thing’s first – don’t dress like a Barbie doll. Where something festive and sexy but don’t dress like a tramp or a disco ball. Don’t get wasted. Have a few drinks, be merry, of course, but don’t end up on a bathroom floor. And above all else, kiss your actual date at the stroke of midnight – last year, my date got “confused” and kissed some random guy on the dance floor. Not cool – not cool, at all.”

CHARLES, 29, from New Jersey on WHY A GUY FLIRTS BUT DOESN’T ASK YOU OUT:  

The reason guys flirt but don’t seal the date deal are the same reasons you do it. Either he is a natural flirt but actually already is taken, is gun shy due to having been hurt in the past, or he could be feeling like he is getting mixed signals from YOU… and therefore to scared to go for it. I say, if you are into him, just ask him what’s up… best of all you get a date, worst of all, you know that you are not wasting your time flirting with him and can move onto someone else.”

MIKE, 27, from Atlanta on THE RULES OF PRE-HOLIDAY DATING:

“This is a tough one that I think girls make even tougher. I see it like this. If we aren’t in an exclusive relationship, we shouldn’t be exchanging gifts. We also shouldn’t feel obligated to invite each other to holiday events – personal or professional ones. Casual dating is just that – casual and just because the holidays come around it, it shouldn’t be accelerated into serious dating because you want a date to a party or a nice present under your tree.”

CRAIG, 36, from Seattle on HIS NUMBER 1 TURN-OFF:

“I cant stand a pushy woman! Pushy women drive men nuts. Whether they are pushy about calling, showing up on time or anything else, a pushy woman is bound to turn into a nagging wife. Who needs that? Not me. It’s great to be vocal about your wants and needs, BUT there is a cool, calm and confident way to do it… which is much better than the pushy, controlling, desperate, crazy girl way of getting what you want.”

BRENT, 31, from Austin on FIRST DATE ETIQUETTE:

First dates can be a blast if certain etiquette is followed. First, show up/be ready on time. Next, dress appropriately for the date (i.e. if we are going bowling, please don’t wear a mini dress). Finally, say thank you whenever you see me pull out my wallet and take care of a charge. If a woman doesn’t do these things, I’ll likely lose interest and not ask for a second date.”

CRAIG, 29, from Phoenix on DEALING WITH HEARTBREAK:

“When a relationship ends, on the outside I appear solid. I’m out the next night engaging in social activities and telling my friends it’s no big deal. ON the inside though, I get pretty shook up. I have a hard time sleeping and I’m definitely really sad. I may be a man, but I’m still human.”

JARED, 32, New Jersey on BEING FRIENDS WITH EXES:

“This is such a touchy subject for new relationships. Overall I feel like it is a no win situation. If you aren’t friends with your ex it is a big question of why not?! What happened that she hates you so much?! On the flipside if you are friends with her, that is deemed inappropriate. The way I look at it is if there are not residual feelings from the relationship, we can be medium level friends. If a new girl I am dating is uncomfortable with it though, I have to respect that, and I will. It’s all about looking towards the future.”

CHARLES, 31, Detroit on MARRIAGE: 

“To me modern day marriage has gotten  out of hand. I think we need to throw back to more traditional roles a bit. This isn’t to say that men need to bring home the bacon and women need to cook it – those types of roles are malleable. The roles that I think should be reinforced though, the ones that have been swept under the rug, are the ones of man and woman. I think biologically men are supposed to make a woman and a family feel provided for on a logistical need level and woman is supposed to be the nurturer – the emotional provider. This doesn’t mean we can’t play in each other’s sandboxes, I’m just saying that we need to let each other do more of our intended parts.

RAND, 35, Chicago on HIS SEXUAL CRAVINGS: 

“When it comes to sex, I want it to be FUN! I want a woman to show up for it, not just lie there. I want a woman who knows what she likes and isn’t afraid to go for it. I want a woman who is curious about herself and me and us. A woman who is fearless. That’s it – FUN and fearless. How tall an order is that?!”

MATT, 27, Los Angles on FIRST DATE DEALBREAKERS:

“If a woman, no matter how into her I am brings brings up anything about sex, even the word, it’s over. I’m a pretty sexually liberated guy and if I bring it up and she wants to talk about it, fine. But here’s the thing, if you bring it up, I’m going to think you are easy. I’m going to have a hard time seeing beyond that label. Just wait – if we are meant to get there, we will. Let me bring it up.”

GREG, 31, St. Louis on JUDGING ONLINE PROFILES:

“I think it is pretty obvious when a woman is or isn’t being honest on her online dating profile. First if her series of pictures is consistent that is a good sign. Also if her body type choice matches her pics that is another food sign. If she is overstated about how many interests she has, that is not a good sign. Let’s be honest, you can’t be into everything. My advice is just to be yourself online, I’m going to find out he truth eventually anyway!”

JACOB, 33, Atlanta on NICKNAMES:

“I have to admit that a big sign for me that I am into a girl is is I make up a cute and creative nickname for her – something unique, beyond sweetie or babe. As for her having a nickname for me, I’m ok with it under one condition. If the nickname is super cutsie, it should be reserved for our private time. If it is really masculine, only then can it be used publicly.

TREY, 33, Los Angeles on THE TELL-TALE SIGNS HE’S INTO A GIRL:

“There is no mistaking it when a guy is into a girl so I’m not sure why girls have to wonder if the guy they are dating is really into them or not. For me, if I regularly inquire about your life and share details about mine, make an effort to spend time with you, and want to kiss you all the time… then I ‘m into you. It really isn’t anymore complicated than that.”

GREG, 35, Chicago on WHY MEN STRAY FROM RELATIONSHIPS:

“To answer what makes men stray, first you have to answer what makes men stay. A man will commit to one woman because he thinks he can get all of his needs met from her. This includes physical, sexual, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, etc. He strays towards other women – be it through dating, flirting, having an affair – when he isn’t getting those needs met. It is pretty simple. My advice to women who want to keep their man is, just PAY ATTENTION to how much attention you are giving to what he needs. It isn’t all about you.”

JESSE, 31, San Diego on WHAT MAKES A HOT HALLOWEEN COSTUME:

“I don’t know when Halloween became excuse for women to dress like prostitutes but I for one don’t like it. Maybe I am in the minority but I think it shows zero creativity to got to the store and buy a skimpy costume that leaves nothing to the imagination. I’m much more attracted to the girl at a Halloween party who has put some effort and some thought into her costume. A creative costume is much better conversation than typical slut wear.”

GREGOR, 28, New York, on WHY GUYS ACT DIFFERENTLY AROUND YOU THEN THAN THEY DO IN FRONT OF THEIR FRIENDS:

“I’m a pretty affectionate guy so when it is me and my girlfriend alone I will be very touchy feely but if I bring her out with the guys, I’m definitely different. Why? It isn’t personal. I just need to keep my credibility with the guys. I don’t want to hear about it later when are watching the game that I was all kissy-face. I know it sounds lame, but it is the truth. The best thing a girl can do in a guy’s night out situation is to be ‘one of the guys.’ I will love her for it and so will my friends.” 

STEPHAN, 31, Seattle, on WHY SOMETIMES GUYS DON’T WANT TO TALK:

“Here’s the thing. Men, by nature are creatures of few words. Our barbers know our favorite sports teams at best, whereas the lady who waxes you knows everything about you… case in point. That said, when we don’t emote as much as you’d like, we might just simply not have that much to say. Another reason and I think a bigger one, is that many guys, like myself like to marinate on stuff. We have HUGE fear that we might say the wrong thing. What’s worse than saying nothing is saying the wrong thing. The look in your eyes when we mess up is the worst thing in the world… you look like you are going to kill us, or worse yet, like we’ve just killed a piece of you.”

ED, 35, Los Angeles, on HIS DATING WISH:

“If I had one wish in regards to how women might date differently, it is that I wish they would enjoy dating more. Guys can totally pick up on a girl who is desperate on a date or stressed about a date or a relationship. We all would have so much more fun, not to mention have a better chance of things working out, if women would just mellow out a little bit.”

KEVIN, 33, Chicago, on TURN ONS/TURN OFFS:

“Automatic turn-offs for me are: women with hair I am not allowed to touch, women who micromanage my driving and women who talk smack about other women. My turn-ons are: women who speak their mind, women who don’t play hard to get, women who show off their shoulders and as a bonus, women who agee that shopping is an errand, not a sport!” 

BRETT, 29, New York, on BEST BREAKUP METHODS:

“If a girl is going to breakup with me there are some definite dos and don’ts. Do it in person or over the phone. Make it simple… I’m a guy – I don’t need a lot of explanation – just clearly state the what and why. Definitely, please don’t cry or give me a cliche “let’s be friends” line. If we were really close, breakup sex would definitely make me feel a lto better and less awkward when we run into each other in the future.”

ALEC, 31, Chicago, on PAYING FOR DATES:

“Assuming that a guy should pay for a date is as archaic a mindset as a man assuming that a woman should stay home, raising babies all day, while cooking 5-star meals and polishing the floors. If you want us to evolve our way of thinking, you need to evolve yours… it is only fair.”

ROMEO, 34, Phoenix, on BOUNDARIES:

“A man who thinks you are easy will be unable to erase that thought from his inherently dirty mind. Therefore you need to let him know your worth right up front.”

SHAY, 35, San Francisco, on DEAL-BREAKERS:

“If I catch a girl searching my phone or she starts to suspiciously question me, it is over. A great girlfriend is secure in herself and trusts me. If you put your faith in me, your feelings on the line and jut trust me, the LAST thing I want to do is disappoint you.”