Tristan Coopersmith: Love Stylist
Welcome to the new happily ever after!
Calling all the single ladies! I have spoken to many of you in the past couple of weeks. It’s been a tough time for most of you. And believe me, I get it. I spent many a holiday on my own, wishing I had someone super duper special to exchange gifts with, to smooch under…Read More
As in nature, in relationships a balance of give and take must be struck for harmony to be achieved. Sounds cliché, I know, but its true, and often, as women, our natural tendencies to mother takeover in a relationship and we can over-give, resulting in not paying attention to the scales. While relationships shouldn’t be…Read More
I can remember as even a tiny little girl (around 4 years old) my mother telling me “to marry my best friend.” What she forgot to mention (aside from the fact that yes, eventually I might actually not be totally grossed out by kissing, let alone boys), was that I first had to fall head-over-heels…Read More
In the world of dating, it is easy to get swept up by fear and in turn lose faith. But talk to any “successful” dater and she will tell you that faith was instrumental in her love quest. Unsure of where you stand on the faith/fear meter? Take this quiz to find out! 1. Imagine…Read More
I’ll admit it. I like to be right. No, correction, I LOVE to be right. And in my former, less evolved life, being right was top priority in my relationships – romantic, professional, familial and otherwise. Being right felt good! It felt powerful and validating. But it also felt very lonely and shame ridden. Being…Read More
Four years ago I spent some time in Africa – Mozambique to be specific. In my village there was no electricity, no plumbing, water was 1.5 mile walk away, food was scarce and to be shared among the many inhabitants. Medical care was unheard of and shelter at best included a mud floored hut with…Read More
I am really being put to the test these days. I am being challenged in every way I know on how to carry and express love for someone who is foreseeably unlovable. I’ll admit, I’m doing a pretty sucky job. Here’s what happens. Despite my ingrained belief to love all, serve all… not give love…Read More
The “L” word (love) is a funny thing. Most of us begin a dating journey in hopes to arrive at that magically warm, comforting place. But what we may not realize is that getting there too fast can be detrimental. The “L” word in my opinion is a journey in and of itself comprised of…Read More
Truth be told, I used to be anti-marriage. Not anti-marriage for everyone but certainly for me. I had witnessed a crappy marriage and a worse divorce with my parents. I was NOT going to repeat their mistakes. I would be the responsible one… thinking before I had kids, knowing that they are the true victims…Read More
One of the most recurring themes of conversations among my clients and personal girlfriends alike is how almost perfect “he” was. I hear it all from “if only he wasn’t so short” to “if only he had a better relationship with his mom.” While this post isn’t about modifying your perspective of perfect, you might…Read More
I grew up with a unique name. And at the time (the 80s), unique names were not cool. You got made fun; you were left out of having personalized signs, pencils, license plates for your bike. So I’ve definitely always had a “thing” with names. To me, a name defines you in many ways, despite…Read More
Once upon a time there was a guy – a very handsome and charming guy – who we will call B. B was one of those guys who could melt you with just a glance in your direction. He was the guy that sent you cookies and milk, just because. He’d never send flowers –…Read More
I securely locked my car and walked into the 122nd St school… my home away from home where I do some volunteer work. I’ve seen prisons prettier than this institution of learning. In fact there are several similarities between it and jail. First there are the gates. Gates everywhere! What should be a free-spirited playground…Read More
My stepdaughter has a bit of a bullying problem. Actually it is more like a mean girls problem. And it sucks. It is so painful to watch her sweet little face spill out the tragedy of the day while she eats her afternoon snack. Each day it is an extension of the previous day… a…Read More
Unreturned phone calls. Last minute plans cancellations. Excuses galore. And then finally, the elusive talk. “It’s not you, it’s me.” “Let’s be friends.” If you have ever been on the receiving end of such a series of cryptic messages, all leading up to “the end” then you are intimately familiar with how maddening it can…Read More
I used to think of myself as an awesome girlfriend. I thought because I was loving, sexually liberated and baked cookies regularly, I was ideal. Boy, did I overate myself! To be fair, I have always been a pretty good girlfriend. I’m willing to bet my vintage dress collection that if you surveyed my exes,…Read More
We’ve all heard the expression ‘a hole in my heart.’ And I’m willing to bet that most of you have had this profound experience. I know I have. Many times. Holes in our hearts are usually the consequence of loving deeply. We get holes when we give and don’t receive, when we are rejected, when…Read More
It’s universally understood I believe that the day after a breakup is a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day. It’s a day that leaves you feeling lonely, empty, confused, sad, angry, dark, heavy and turned upside down and inside out in every way which way. Sometimes, all you can do is sit in it,…Read More
In this control-alt-delete world we live in, where everything from our memories to our network of people can be carefully orchestrated, manipulated, contorted and ultimately even erased, the element of surprise is lacking… big time! And further, as a result, comfortably resting in truth is also lacking. I’ll give you an example. Back in the…Read More
He’s tall, dark, handsome, a successful banker and has an adorable dog. He treats you like royalty in every way. But you asked for a blondie who doesn’t bow down to the corporate world in a suit and loves cats. Oh crap. What now? Even the most open-minded dater in the world has imagined what…Read More