Giving is good. No, correction – giving is great. If feels awesome to do for others. However, in the beginning of a relationship, over-giving, over-doing can create a dynamic where you become a doormat – that girl who is willing to do anything for her guy, prematurely. If you flirt with doormat-dom, ask yourself why? Are you really THAT giving, or do you more likely suffer with fear of rejection or abandonment, and you give and give to increase the odds the guy will stay? Be honest – most fall in the latter category. And sadly, ultimately get left anyway since over-giving is impossible to sustain, particularly when it isn’t being reciprocated. Value yourself enough to make your needs equally as important as your date’s. Only when give and take is balance, is relationship harmony achieved.
Power Up Your Inner Flirt!
Enough is enough already…! Want to land the guy of your dreams this year? Then stop sitting around waiting for the magic to happen. Take control of your destiny by unleashing your inner flirt on each and every guy that peaks your interest. Here’s a few ideas on how to get you started: 1) Pretend you can’t find your cell and ask to borrow hottie’s to call yours… mention to him that now he has your number and can use it sometime, 2) “accidentally” throw your frisbee, football, etc his way at the park or beach and suggest that his friends and your friends play together, 3) ask for help clasping a necklace or for an opinion on an outfit in a store, 4) ask him for directions, or better yet a personal walking escort to your destination and as a thank you, invite him for a drink another time. See, it is that simple… all you have to do is GO FOR IT! May the inner flirt force be with you! XO
T’is the season to MINGLE!
Now that Starbucks full line of holiday lattes are out, Santa is making appearances at every mall and even LA’s palm trees are lit up, there is no escaping that it is indeed, the holiday season! If you are finding yourself stricken by the December blues due to a case of singlitis… THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO HIBERNATE like a cozy bear, alone in your apartment, waiting to emerge until January 2nd. Instead embrace the magic of the holiday season by going to every party you get invited to, participating in wonderous winter weather activities like ice skating, community snowball fights (yes, the exist!) and more. Decorate your pad, drink hot cider, paint your nails a sparkly red, gather your girlfriends for a holiday gift exchange. Getting into the spirit will ignite your energy, remind you of all the love you DO have in your life, plus by saying “YES” to the merriest of all seasons, you never know what may be returned in kind under your tree!
Mirror His Body Language
55% of communication between two people is through body language! This is a far cry from the 7% that relies on what you actually say. When it comes to dating and/or flirting, body language becomes a dance and research has shown time and time again that when you follow the cues of your date, attraction is stronger. If he is leaning in, you lean in. If he touches your leg, touch his back. Mirror movements with a 10-20 second delay to appear natural – the more you do it the more natural it actually becomes. Mirroring actions and mood makes people feel at ease and feeling at ease leads to increased openness.
Kill the Conversation Hangover!
Ladies, it is time to stop the mental madness that chatters through your mind post date. You know what I am talking about… all that second guessing as you passively wait by the phone for a call. The, “I wonder if he knew what I meant when I said xyz,” or the “When he said xyz was that a compliment or a criticism?” nonsense. It is easy to get sucked into what I call a conversation hangover… lingering questions, or rather, doubts, regarding a conversation had with a date, or even prospective date. Those I “wonder if’s” can drive a gal mad! Take solace in the fact that you were who you are in your interaction – you played your authentic role of you and if something came out weird, so be it… the guy will either like you in spite of the weird or not. Either way though what is done is done and dwelling on what can’t be undone depletes your positive energy. Be confident in who you are and silence that negative noise!