Tristan Coopersmith: Love Stylist

Are you the President of your Love Life?

Tristan — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 23:09:08 +0000

So it is President’s Day. The day that we honor our, to date, 44 Presidents of the United States. Or maybe for you it is a day to honor sleeping in, nursing a hangover, cashing in on killer sales, having extended coffee dates with girliefriends and so on. For me, I like to pause and think about how I am the Commander in Chief of my Love Life.

The way I see it, only you can determine the outcome of your love life. You are the pilot of your plane which means you are ultimately responsible for when it crashes and when it succeeds. How empowering is that?! Sure, it is a great responsibility, but I’d rather take it on myself then bestow it upon others, since after all, who better than me knows what I want, need and deserve.

So what does it mean to be the President of your Love Life? A few things:

1. It means clarifying you love mission. To win at love, you have to be crystal clear on what it is you want, where you want to go… simply, what kind of love you are looking for. This takes time, it takes introspection and experimentation. It also takes flexibility because as we evolve, our love mission’s do too.

2. It means being aware of your love meter. It means constantly checking in with yourself to detect what areas of your love life are fulfilled and continuing to nurture those areas… as well as identifying where there is lack and facing those spaces head/heart on seeing them as opportunities for improvement.

3. It means building a great team of love supporters. Every brilliant President has a super supporting team, so build yours. Surround yourself with people who understand your love mission and will support it. Be sure that your team accepts you for all that you are and all that you aren’t, yet. Your team must also be unafraid of being honest with you. Be sure to banish any current members who are working against you/your mission.

It doesn’t matter if you are single and searching, navigating a new relationship or are heart-deep in marriage, clarifying your love mission, being aware of your love meter and building a great team of love supporters shows that you care about your love destiny. Affirm that today you become the President of your love life – that you decide what love looks and feels like for you, today, tomorrow and every day going forward. And that you won’t waiver from it – that you are a strong, self-loving President that knows what she wants, needs and deserves and can get it, unquestionably.

Live and love largely,
President Tristan

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Don’t Fish for Compliments

Tristan — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:08:09 +0000

Women who fish for compliments (“I got my haircut today….”, “Do you like my new top?”) are totally see through… and men can’t stand it. A woman who is looking for compliments demonstrates lack of self-confidence and even worse, a dependence on others for self-validation – not exactly the role a guy wants to sign up for, right? The irony here is that the better you feel about yourself – the more you self-compliment – the more readily you will get complimented. Instead of begging to be recognized, spend your energy radiating what is already awesome about you!

This Valentine’s Day, Get A Heart On!… 7 Reasons You Should Believe In Love

Tristan — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 05:10:11 +0000

This time of year a barrage of pre-packaged, hallmark love wrapped in pink and red cuteness bombards us from every which way, forcing us to stare love in the face. From stuffed bears and singing cards to heart-shaped diamond pendants and 5-course dinner specials ending with a kissing swan soufflé, it can all make you want to bitch slap Cupid in the face if you aren’t coupled up at the moment. But just because you are not IN love right now, doesn’t mean you can’t believe in it. Here, 7 reasons to see beyond the waxy artificial chocolate and vomit inducing PDA, and believe in real deal love this Valentine’s Day.

You already have love in your life! Reprogram the way you think about V-Day. Remember it is a celebration of L-O-V-E. Not just couple love but all kinds of love. Concentrate on how lucky in love you already are and take a moment to appreciate the people you love and that love you right now.
Believing in love makes u more lovable. No man wants to be with a woman who doesn’t have her heart open to the idea of falling in love. If you turn your back on love, love will turn its back on you. Similarly if you greet love with open arms, it will come to you freely and openly.
It is literally good for you to have love in your life. Having love in our lives increases the levels of dopamine in our brains, which causes positive effects in all areas of our lives.
The alternative sucks. Are you seriously going to sit in your house on Cupid’s Day with a face mask in your jammies eating a gallon of ice cream moping to yourself about how unlucky you are in love, or worse yet commiserate with the lonely at an Anti-Valentine’s Day party? It takes a lot more energy to be miserable than it does to be optimistic.
If you aren’t a believer, you are a big buzzkill to those around you. Bitching about how much you hate V-Day, how commercial it is, how anyone who celebrates it should be shot, emits bad energy into the universe. Be afraid because Cupid IS watching. He’s got a bag full of arrows ready to shoot… and do you really think he is going to waste an arrow on a grinch like you? I think not.
If you give up on love, you decrease your chances of finding it. Life is short and hanging up a closed for business sign, even for a day, minimizes your chances of finding someone worth cashing in on.
Deep down inside you know you already do believe. Come on, admit, you can think of at least one couple that is head over heels in love… one couple that you admire for their undying devotion… one couple that you think, ‘that is worth holding out for’… proof that you are already at your core, a believer.

So instead of looking at the 14^th as doomsday, put on your hottest red thong, go treat yourself to a box of chocolate and get inspired by Valentine’s Day! Absorb the love that is all around and just think, soon you could be one half of a couple dancing to Cupid’s cheesy beat.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Live and love largely,

Tristan

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Mirror His Body Language

Tristan — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 16:00:14 +0000

55% of communication between two people is through body language! This is a far cry from the 7% that relies on what you actually say. When it comes to dating and/or flirting, body language becomes a dance and research has shown time and time again that when you follow the cues of your date, attraction is stronger. If he is leaning in, you lean in. If he touches your leg, touch his back. Mirror movements with a 10-20 second delay to appear natural – the more you do it the more natural it actually becomes. Mirroring actions and mood makes people feel at ease and feeling at ease leads to increased openness.

Love is…

Tristan — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 13:29:46 +0000

Jagger's Love Poem

Check out how Jagger, my precocious little stepson defines “love” in this video…