ASSIGNMENT 33: Check Yourself out Naked!
We often walk through the world with shades on, dimming what we see so that we like it better. But when we take off our sunglasses, brightness is revealed. So I ask you, when is the last time you looked at yourself, glasses off? My guess, it has been too long. Thus, this weekend’s task is to CHECK YOURSELF OUT NAKED! And I mean literally and figuratively. First, strip down to your birthday suit. Next find a mirror (full-length preferred). Now, look. Don’t squint… look eyes wide open for several minutes. No matter how uncomfortable this may feel, stick with it! After your few minutes of just looking, begin to notice the uniqueness of your being… from the flow of your hair to the curve of your hips, from how genuine your heart is to how creative your mind is… notice the complete you. Finally, appreciate you, all of the unique things that make you, YOU, by saying a BIG, “You rock and I love you!”
ASSIGNMENT 32: Feelings Wishlist, part 2!
In a previous Love Assignment, you were instructed to ACCESS & ACTIVATE YOUR FEELINGS WISHLIST. I hope it was a helpful assignment! This week, your task is to take that assignment one step further. This time, you will ACCESS YOUR RELATIONSHIP FEELING WISHLIST! Similarly to last time, think about 5 FEELINGS you want out of a relationship. I’m not talking the superficial stuff, but instead the real feelings that a relationship can provide for you (i.e. security, affection, intellectual stimulation, etc). Then, next to each desired feeling, write abut ne experience when you really had that feeling as well as one where the lack was apparent. This process will remind you of what is important to you in a relationship, as well as that you have achieved that experience before, and finally will retrigger for you what it was like not to have it. This task should serve as a commitment to yourself to ensure that your relationship feeling needs are met!
ASSIGNMENT 31: Feelings Wishlist
It is easy to get stuck in a rut of bad feelings. Almost to the point where you just wake up expecting to feel like crap. But even still, you know, deep down inside, you want better… you want to feel more. So, this week’s task is to ACCESS AND ACTIVATE YOUR FEELINGS WISH LIST. How? Begin by writing down 5 feelings you want right NOW. These can be anything on the feeling spectrum (ex: happier, sexier, lighter, more in control, etc). Then, next to each desired feeling, write one thing YOU can do to get that feeling. Ask yourself how, leveraging your power and your resources, can you activate that needed feeling. For example, if you want to feel sexier, you could buy new lingerie, put on some heels and red lipstick and strut in front of your mirror (candlelit room recommended). Or say you want to feel less stressed, you could take a bubble bath, go for a walk or watch a funny movie. With this exercise you will come to realize how easy (and potent) it can be to unearth your desired feelings and even more importantly, how easy it can be to activate them, if you just put forth a bit of effort.
ASSIGNMENT 30: Take a Rebel Photo!
It is quite possible that you’ve worked for years, maybe even decades on your perfect camera post. You know how to stand, smile and stare at a camera so that your pictures turn out stunning each and every time. BUT… is that person in the photo truly YOU?! Does that person embody the best and brightest of your inner being? Probably not. We are taught from a very young age to “keep it all in.” To look poised and pretty , professional perhaps and just right. However, on the inside, we are just bursting with inner energy that wants to come out. This explains why those mall photo booths are SO much fun to play in! So, this weekend your task is to TAKE A REBEL PHOTO so you can unleash and embrace your inner personality. Throw caution to the wind BIG TIME with this assignment and really have FUN with it. Enlist a friend to hold the camera if you like, dress up, be playful, dance in the streets… do whatever feels right to you!
ASSIGNMENT 29: Creating space
I recently moved and within days I had my whole home unpacked, looking like I’d been there for years. I’m a nester. But something feels off…. my bedroom doesn’t feel like me. Does yours? I’m a big believer in the energy of your spaces. So this weekend, join me in the task of MAKING YOUR SPACE A TRIBUTE TO YOU! Whether it is your bedroom, bathroom, kitchen or otherwise, take the time to make a living space in your home represent the uniquely gorgeous being that you are. In doing so, you will feel more at home, more at peace and awaken your true self every time you are in the room. Feel free to send pics of your rewnewed and refreshed environment!
ASSIGNMENT 28: Reward Thyself!
I’m a sucker for incentives. If there is an incentive, I am far more motivated to particiapte and do my best. In fact most of us are motivated by incentives be it with shopping or studying. But how often to you reward yourself for a job well done? How often do you take the time to give yourself a gift for being the best YOU, you can be? Probably not very often. So this weekend, your task is to CHART A SELF REWARD SYSTEM. Think of 3-5 goals you want to achieve. Don’t worry – these don’t need to be big… they can be simple like making your bed every day or remembering to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. For each goal, attach a reward. Again, these don’t need to be big – going for a quiet walk or having a cup of tea will do just fine. Post these goals and rewards somewhere visible (like a bathroom mirror) to help inspire you. And don’t forget to honor yourself with your rewards… you deserve it, plus this is the easiest way to move something from new goal to habit!
ASSIGNMENT 27: Celebrate Your Quirks!
There’s no doubt about it – I’m a quiry gal. A PROUD quirky gal. But truth be told, I used to keep my quirks a bit of a secret. And then one day, I just couldn’t keep them in anymore (examples: I always dance and make funny faces when I brush my teeth, I sleep with a bear puppet, I love to use accents when I speak with service people – all weird, I know). And guess what? They are what makes me, ME! And your quirks are what make you too! So this weekend, your task is to CELEBRATE YOUR QUIRKS! From now on, rock your unique quirks loudly, recognizing they are what make you, YOU! Keeping them in hiding only does a diservice to you and those who love you! Quirk on, sisters, quirk on!
ASSIGNMENT 26: Know Your Nourishment!
You’ve heard it before: you are what you eat. And this couldn’t be more true. Admittingly, I’m a sweets junkie. However, I notice that when I curb my sweets addiction even just for a few days, I feel higher than I do with the sweets. It isn’t always easy (ok , it never is), but it is worth it. The foods and chemicals we put in our bodies directly correlate to how we feel and how we feel directly affects how we move in the world. So this weekend your task is to KNOW YOUR NOURISHMENT. For the next few days pay particular attention to what goes in your mouth and how you feel during and afterwards. By the end of the weekend you will have a pretty good idea of what foods make you consistently high, consistently low or a mix of the two. Aim to have a majority of your consumption, a majority of the time, be the foods that you feel on both ends.
ASSIGNMENT 25: Toast to Your Inner Strength!
We are born to be survivors. Instinctively we know how to react quickly with our bodies and our minds. And out hearts don’t ever really break, instead they bruise and heal, becoming restored with more strength each time. We are RESILIENT creatures by our very nature. This weekend, think about all of the things you have survived in your life, big and small. Perhaps a tough illness, a challenging course in school, a devastating breakup. Take a moment, in the midst of New Year’s celebrating to TOAST TO YOUR INNER STRENGTH! Celebrate your ability to meet challenges head on and rise above them, drawing wisdom from and becoming greater for having faced them. Keep this strength in your pocket to remind yourself when hardship comes near again, that you already have all that you need to overcome anything!
ASSIGNMENT 24: Say “Yes”!
I’m not sure if it is a result of the powerful Just Say No campaign decades or what, but it seems in in our culture we have a reflex to say “NO” instead of “Yes,” and that totally bums me out. Of course, there are plenty of things that you shold turn away from – fruitcake, mistakes already made and skyuscraper bangs, but there is probably plenty that you say “No” to when “Yes” might bring a rich and important experience your way. So this weekend your assignment is to SAY YES TO SOMETHING YOU AUTOMATICALLY WOULD TYPICALLY SAY NO TO. This could be as simple as being offered a sample of a new food to try or as big as going out with something you normally would not. I can tell you from personal experience that living a “yes” life leads to a vibrant life with no regrets and lots and lots of learning opportunities. Just try it – I promise you will be glad you did.
ASSIGNMENT 23: Self Gift Giving!
Tis the season for gift giving! No matter your religious background, you can’t escape the merriness of this month… and why should you?! No matter what your relationship status is, this month is a great time for showing your appreciation… not only to others, but to fabulous YOU as well! So this weekend, your task is to BEGIN THE ANNUAL TRADITION OF GIVING YOURSELF A GIFT! Although you may have plenty of things on your wishlist in mind, don’t just pick one impuslively – do your research… make an event of it by either visiting boutiques you adore, cozying up with a stack of favorite catalogs at a favorite coffee shop or researching new possibilities online. Give YOUR gift extra thought and attention and by all means, wrap ti up with a bow… you totally deserve it!
ASSIGNMENT 22: Self-Love Activators
It’s pretty easy to discern self-lovers from self-loathers. Self-lovers are always doing nice things for themselves, be it treating themselves tot he things they love, just because, or self-complimenting. There are so many ways to show yourself love, so this weekend your task is to IDENTIFY 3 WAYS THAT YOU CAN SELF-LOVE… AND PUT THEM INTO ACTION! This is all about looking inward to determine what makes your heart glow – what can YOU do to be kind and loving to yourself? Can you take yourself for an overdue mani/pedi? Or maybe you need to post love messages on your mirrors. Even still, perhaps a walk in the sun will do the trick. Whatever your three paths to self-love are, note them and set a goal to stay loyal to them.. the more you do, the more your self-love will blossom.
ASSIGNMENT 21: Self-pampering
Summer may feel like a thing of the distant past, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still shine in the sun! What better way to ease into winter with a little SELF-PAMPERING?! This weekend, your task is to FROLIC IN LUXURY! Whatever your most self-indulgent pampering pleasure is, this weekend, delight in. Whether it is a relaxing massage, a perfect pedicure, a skin-brightening facial or an overflowing bubble bath, this weekend, make it all about loving and luxuriating your body! And remember, this doesn’t have to an expensive outing – a home spa experience will do just the trick! Enjoy… you (and your skin) deserve it, doll!
ASSIGNMENT 20: Unlocking your Life Tenants
A big part of healthy living is living a life true to who you really are. Although we all travel through life behind a shield of some sorts (which is actually helpful in many ways), to feel free, to feel your best, you must know who you are, at your core. So this weekend, UNLOCK YOUR LIFE TENETS. Choose approximately three values you have for your life that define who you are. For me, mine are authenticity, intention and purpose. I work hard to ensure that every action I take considers these three tenets. They in short, define how I want to live my life. When you come up with yours, I recommend posting them somewhere beautifully as a constant reminder.
ASSIGNMENT 19: Rewriting your script
The tales we tell are all a matter of perspective. The same exact story to one’s ears/heart can sound like a tragedy, but to another, sound like a blessing So this weekend your assignment is to REWRITE YOUR SCRIPT. Simply take your worst love tragedy and reframe it so that it reads like a blessing. Think about the positive moments that were shared and the learning acquired. Instead of being a victim of your experience, become a student of it. You may not always have control of how experiences happen but you always have control of the moral of the story you draw from them.
ASSIGNMENT 18: Becoming your Own Parent
Parenting is tough work! There is no two ways about it. One can read all the books on the shelf on how to properly parent but when you arrive, it’s a whole other ballgame. Whether you rate your own parents as superstars or blame them for everything wrong in your life presently, the chance is yours not to BECOME YOUR OWN PARENT. As you live more and become more enriched with self-awareness you come to realize what kind of parenting you actually need in your life. Sometimes this shows remarkable (and sad) voids that you didn’t receive and still may not receive. But the chance is yours, right now, this weekend to RISE UP AND DECLARE YOUR OWN PARENTHOOD. So take some time to jot down what kind of parent you need in your life and commit through affirmations to becoming that for yourself. Maybe you need encouragement or praise. Maybe you need a parent who just loves you for you. Whatever your needs are, provide them for yourself and watch yourself rise to become the adult child you deserve to be!
ASSIGNMENT 17: Treating yourself as a BFF
Think about the person that you treat the BEST in the world. That person who you drop everything for at a moment’s notice, no matter what. That person who you are there for emotionally, through thick & thin. Now think about, in comparison if you treat YOURSELF the same way. Hmmm…. Your task this weekend is to think about WHY YOU TREAT YOUR BEST FRIEND BETTER THAN YOURSELF & HOW YOU CAN BECOME YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. Remember, this is a 2-parter assignment: Be sure to do some deep digging to uncover what your self-love blocks may be AND create an action plan on how you will knock those blocks down.
ASSIGNMENT 16: Creating your Own Cheer
In love it is important to become your #1 fan. This means, quite simply, believing that you ROCK! Once you become your own #1 fan, you will develop an unshakeable worth that will project out to the love word. So this weekend, your task is to CREATE YOUR OWN CHEER! That’s right, your very own cheerleader anthem honoring you! Don’t worry about the cheese factor – in fact, I say the cheesier, the better! The key here is to identify with specificity WHY you rock and to celebrate it through your cheer. Shout it out, loud & proud every day to cheer your way to #1 fandom!
ASSIGNMENT 15: A Letter to Little You
Imagine going back in time to when you were, say 9 years old, armed with all of the wisdom and experience you are now armed with… what a righteous little 3rd grader you would be! How amazingly you could standup to that bully. What awesome ways you would self-love when you didn’t get picked for the soccer team. Just think how you could know that an emotionally abandoning parent was just that, not a reflection of bad you. You would be one little rockstar! This weekend, your assignment is to WRITE A LETTER TO LITTLE YOU. You will put pen to paper and provide words of advice, solace, encouragement, etc to YOU at a certain age when you could have really used it. Be detailed with your description of the experiences(s) you are referencing and the advice you would have given her. By bringing this to the present day, you will be able to validate and release the pain of the past and bring forgiveness, acceptance and confidence to your future.
ASSIGNMENT 14: Creating a Pride List
A fabulous way to build up your love of self is to think of the ways in which you are proud of you. So this weekend, your task is to CREATE A PRIDE LIST. Your list should include all of the little things and the big things in every area of your life that you are proud of – from being a good friend, to work accomplishments, from sticking to your commitment to stop biting your nails, to opening p yourself to something new this year. Make your list as long as you can, leaving nothing out, no matter how micro it seems… and I say write it out in rainbow colors! The purpose of this is for you to recognize how uniquely special you are, how uniquely qualified you are to be loved by YOU… and therefore others. Go girl!
ASSIGNMENT 13: Giving yourself a Dose of TLC
A great way to demonstrate self-love is to routinely GIVE YOURSELF A DOSE OF TLC. This injection of care can come in many forms, from writing yourself regular valentines to terating yourself to a monthly massage or my personal favorite, buying yourself flowers every season. What is important here is that you choose something that makes you feel particularly loved, appreciated and worthy… and that you do it regularly. The routine of it is critical as not only does it become something you can look forward to, thus increasing your self-value, but rituals have been proven to strengthen our bonds with ourselves and others.
ASSIGNMENT 12: Meeting your Nurturing Centers
Our bodies, minds, hearts and souls need to regularly be nurtured for us to feel our best. This weekend, your task is TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR NURTURING CENTERS. To do so, start by identifying right now, what feels out of balance and what would put it back into balance. For example, my body is definitely out of balance this week. I need more sleep! My soul is also out of wack – meditation is calling me and my social center needs some attention too… hello, fun time! The idea here is to listen – to pay attention to your inner needs and figure out how, your world begins to crumble. This is an investment worth making. Next, brainstorm a list of self-nurturing activities; some of these things may involve other people, some may be solo journeys. Each day, look at the list and choose one to do. No matter what, don’t let the shoulds, to-dos or guilt keep you from taking care of yourself. Honor your needs and show yourself true love!
ASSIGNMENT 11: Wake Up to your Dreams
One of the kindest ways to honor yourself is to cultivate one of your dreams. We all have them – aspirations both big and small… some that have been burning within us for decades and others that are new to us, but just as fiery. It can be easy – oh so easy – to postpone our dream until “later.” But the truly self-loving, say that “NOW” is the best time to fulfill yourself. So, this weekend your task is to WAKE UP TO YOUR DREAMS. To do so you will write down ALL of your dreams – even the ones that seem outlandish. And then, choose one, just one and set an action plan against it to turn it from dream to reality. As Paul Valery said, “The best way to make your dream come true is to wake up.” So, no more hittingthe snooze button on you and your possibilities… this is it… this is your WAKE UP CALL!
ASSIGNMENT 10: Commit to what you DON’T want
We are conditioned to do lotsa thinking about what we want in life and in love. And that is all well and good of course, but sometimes it is helpful too, to think about what we DON’T want. So this weekend’s task is to COMMIT TO WHAT YOU DON’T WANT in a relationship… not a man, but in a relationship. Think about past relationships and how you felt in them, how you were treated in them, what was missing, and so on. Focus on your role in it, the man’s, the environment… the whole picture! From there you will be able to nail down, base don your experience, what isn’t going to work for you in future relationships. Only by being very firm with yourself in not compromising on what you don’t want, will you be able to arrive at what you DO want!
ASSIGNMENT 9: Love out Loud!
I’m a firm believer that the universe feeds off of love and that the more you put out, the more you get back. So… this week your assignment is to LOVE OUT LOUD! In this very simple and rather is TO LOVE OUT LOUD! In this very simple and rather warm fuzzy assignment, your task is to tell at least a handful of people no only that you love them by why you love them. Think far and wide of the people you want to spead a love message to… from your rad mama who doesn’t pressure you to settle for Mr. OK just so she can havea grandbaby to a best gal pal who remembers your pressure-filled meetings at work and sends you good luck texts just beforehand to ease your anxiety, all the way to your local barista who throws in a complimentary extra shot on the days you need it most. The secret sauce in this mission is specificity not only because it makes the recipient of your message feel extra special but because it helps you hone in on what you love really means to you.
ASSIGNMENT 8: Unveiling What Makes you Thrive
Some moments of the day you feel alive and pumpin’, like you’ve just downed a Red Bull and other moments you feel like a slug just trying to get through it. Wouldn’t it be dreamy if the Red Bull moments dominated and the slug moments were so rate that you barely noticed them? This weekend’s love assignment is to UNVEIL WHAT MAKES YOU THRIVE! Over the next few days, chart what makes you feel weak. The easiest and most effective way to do this is with a columned list that you keep in a journal that you take with you EVERYWHERE you go. Examine all areas of your life – work, love, friendships, family, activities and so on. The experiences that bring you light, mark in the strength column; the experiences that drain you, mark in the weak column. After a few days, you will be pretty clear on where the toxicity in your life lies and what makes you soar. From there, focus your efforts around those things that make you thrive!
ASSIGNMENT 7: Affirming your Self-Love
I know, I talk a lot about self-love, but you really can’t practice it enough, so this love assignment is devoted to AFFIRMING YOUR SELF-LOVE. Your task is to make a list of all the things that make you uniquely, wonderfully, awesomely YOU! All of those gorgeous characteristics that make you totally dateable and even more importantly, divinely lovable. Think small and big. Think exterior and interior. Make as long a list as you possibly can and relish in how special you are as you create it. Once you have completed your list, review it, circling your favorite five. Then create affirmations about those five characteristics on post-it notes. For example, if your list included that you are generous, your affirmation could be: “I am a generous spirit. I have much to contribute.” Adhere your affirmations to your bathroom mirror so that you can read them every morning and every night, reminding you of your unique awesomeness. Here’s to YOU!
ASSIGNMENT 6: Finding your Theme Song
Dust off your old crates of records and cue up your iTunes because this weekend’s love assignment is dedicated to FINDING YOUR THEME SONG! Seek out that song that when you hear it, you just want to crank it up and at the top of your lunch sing every single word because to the depths of your being, it feels like it was written just for you; that song that when played can channel your inner best. Choose a song that feels timeless to you vs. one that reflects your moment right now. And if you are currently coupled up, choose a personal and also along with your significant other, select a couples anthem, one that when played can snap you out of a funk and into your bliss. Music is tremendously healing and inspiring so use it to bring out the biggest, brightest love in you!
ASSIGNMENT 5: Creating your Self-Introduction
Ever envisioned how you might describe a future mate to your friends or even parents? It might go a little something like this, “Mom, I met such a fantastic man! He is x and y and even z! When I am with him, I feel a and b and never c.” And so on and so on. This fantasy is easy to create – it is your ideal and it is created based on a combination of what you have seen and experienced. But have you ever done the reverse? Have you ever though about how you want Mr. Right to describe you? Now is the time. Today’s task is to CREATE YOUR SELF-INTRODUCTION.Simply write down a descriptive paragraph of how you would like to be described to your current/future mate’s best friends or in-laws. Be as descriptive as possible. Remember this is how you would like to be described – how you would be proud to be illustrated. Once you have done that, think about if this portrayal is an accurate representation of who you actually are. If so, you are who you want to be in a relationship. If not, begin to work on becoming that ideal person/partner.
ASSIGNMENT 4: Enlisting Personal Love Teachers
In school we are taught a lot of important things, along with a few questionable ones (can we say square roots and periodic tables?!) but one class we don’t take is one on love. Today’s task is to ENLIST PERSONAL LOVE TEACHERS. Whether it is your ever wise grandma, a happily married couple you admire, an author, a trusted friend or a blogger you adore… reach out to him or her to be your guide and inspiration on love. From this day forward consider yourself a student of their teachings. Soak up their knowledge (as informal as it might be), challenge it, ask for more… and then apply what you are learning to your own love life to see how it works for you. And of course, don’t forget to share the love because it is through teaching to others that we learn best.
ASSIGNMENT 3: Writing an Amends Letter
To either get from one love to the next, or simply to be able to soak up and to give as much love as possible, it is critical to forgive those in your past who are still wounding you. FORGIVENESS FREES YOUR HEART, leaving room for new, fresh, untainted love. Today’s task is to put pen to paper and write an “amends letter” to any and all who you are holding anger towards; anyone who you have a grudge against; anyone who you have not forgive in in your life and is thereby storing negativity in your heart. Upon writing this letter, do not concern yourself with style, grammar or even if it makes sense. When it comes to content, just write whatever naturally surfaces, but be sure to include at least one line of forgiveness, EVEN if this person never apologized or by any reasonable standards doesn’t “deserve” forgiveness. When you are finished with your letter, either tuck it away some place special or destroy it. This letter is NOT for sending. The power is in having written it and absolved yourself of the gripping power of anger, not in having had your offender read it.
ASSIGNMENT 2: Putting on your Love Spectacles!
To become a true believer in, and a receiver, an awesomely sound vessel of, love… you’ve got to PUT ON YOUR LOVE SPECTACLES! This means, that today’s task is to extract love wherever you can. Where it is obvious – be it in the patience a father has with his fussy child, nuzzling squirrels, an elderly couple holding hands, or more subtle moments – the way a word sounds, a beautiful flowering tree, an intricately designed building or cake, pause and relish in these gifts of love. The more you take note of the love you ALREADY swim in, the more love filled you will become and therby more projecting of love you will be.. thus capable of receiving more of it! This is the magic of love. Happy love hunting!
ASSIGNMENT 1: Taking Note of your Sensory Experiences
It is said that, “You are what you eat” and this applies not only to food but in terms of all that we ingest. Today’s task is to take note of all of your sensory experiences – what you listen to, what you watch, how you feel when with certain people and so on. Be mindful of your love meter. What makes it rise? What makes it fall? Work to consumer only experiences that cause your meter to soar! After all, you get out, what you put in!